I can believe it

If I had a nickle for everytime someone-even over this past week- has said, "I can't believe you're getting married", I might have enough money to pay my parents back for this weeding. When I hear that phrase, part of me is hesitant to agree. And here's why:

On one hand, if you had asked me 5 years ago if I would be getting married at 21(I'll turn 22 on July 25th), and to someone who went to Jefferson County High School, I would have told you that you had the wrong gal. I had big plans to move away and never turn back. I hated Jefferson County. For what I felt like as mistreatment, politics that I didn't want a part of, and for the hardship of hating small talk and living in a place that ate small talk for breakfast. I was independent. I was strong. I was enough, I would like to have thought. And yet, there lies the beauty of Nick and his love for me and the love I have for him. He is everything that I wanted and needed, but I had no idea. I hesitantly fell fast for Nick. It was a battle of pure attraction and a desire to stick to my plan. I kept feeling like he would hold me back, and yet, Nick has pushed me forward. I have had to learn sacrifice in a way that doesn't make sense, especially to a selfish, over-confident, manipulating brat of an 18,19 year old. I raised a puppy with him, while we lived in separate towns. I celebrated with him and for him. I  needed him to slow me down. I needed him to lean on when my freshman year of college slapped me in the face and discouraged me. I still have emotional bruises from that year. I learned so much about myself, but it was brutal. And I hated it. Felt lonely. Felt not-enough. My mask started to smudge, it started to fade, and eventually, my mask of confidence, anger, sarcasm wiped itself from my face. And Nick loved me through all of that gross process. He learned to love someone that was different. He traveled with me as I met God and met God's love for me and met the fulfilling feeling of having Christ live inside me. And so, here I am. Saying, I can believe it. Without a single doubt in my heart or my mind. I believe Nick was absolutely created for me. And Nick has always felt it, if not known it. Sometimes, I am in awe of his literal "love at first sight" moment. I get to be thankful for Nick and his love. And I hope that I never forget how blessed with are to have found one another and at such a young age. I have traveled so far with this man, and yet, we will travel so many other places.
The feeling I am having while I think about Nick is joy. And thanksgiving. And so, I hope you see that at the wedding. I hope you participate with joy and with thanksgiving.