Nick, I've missed 3 of these, and I'm devastated. I read these and remember our years. Remember the feelings I held and the peaks and valleys of our marriage. And for 3 years, I've missed the chance to capture where we are as a union. Forgive me.
This past year, we have struggled. But we have struggled together. I have needed your steadiness, patience and positive vibes. I have needed you. And you've shown up. Ready to play. Prepared to fight my battles with me. Confident of the light at the end.
A few of our rhythms:
We currently watch the Office every night. EVERY. NIGHT. It's good to laugh together.
We send one another stupid instagram videos that make us laugh. It's good to still be kids together.
We fight over what songs to play in the car. It's good for some things never to change. ;)
We love to travel. It's oh, so good to be away together. In a new experience. Making stories that only we share.
We tried to start a morning walk routine. That week was good. The quiet morning for just ourselves and the pups.
We have a date spot. Margs are good for the soul. Guac isn't too bad either.
We grab one another's hands. In church. In parking lots. In the car. It's good to love.
I am so proud of our marriage. Loyalty is unmatched. Trust abounds. Admiration overflows. Love reigns.
You are my safest spot. I breathe my real breaths with you. I live my real life with you. You are where I whisper my real fears. I scream my real craziness. You know the depths, and you're still here.
I love you, Nick.
Tuesday, December 5, 2017
Friday, October 17, 2014
Year 2
Year 2 kicked our ass (7/15/13-7/14/14). And then we bought a house (7/16/14).
I honestly can't remember all the wounds we gave eachother or all the times my faith in us teetered. The loneliness though, that I can remember. I can remember the feeling of exhaustion. And of feeling that harmony was a fleeting emotion. I think there were circumstances that created part of our terrible two. You, driving to Arkansas every weekend from November-January; me, working long hours February-April; us both having full-time jobs for the first time. I also see in retrospect that we sacrificed one another. Me to "do ministry" and you to "make your new business happen". I look back and wonder why we ever would have chosen something or someone over the person who loves us best and makes the hard times one giggle away from being OK.
At some point during the home buying process, the shift began. We were somehow returning to one another. So for that and so many other reasons, I am thankful for our house. I'm thankful for the porch where we sit and talk without distraction. I'm thankful for the longing we each have to be ONE instead of the two we can find ourselves being. I am thankful for year two to be behind us, but also thankful that it had its place in our marriage.
I love you for sticking it out with me, for confessing when our love falls short, for sending me a "have a good day text" every day of our 2 years. I love you for reminding me what passion looks and feels like. I love you for driving on Broadway to get to our house everyday. I love you because you make me laugh even when I don't want to. I love you because I never have to doubt that behind the political battles, the differing sports teams, the opposing personalities, you are with me. I love learning how to share this life with you.
I love you, Nick.
Kels
I honestly can't remember all the wounds we gave eachother or all the times my faith in us teetered. The loneliness though, that I can remember. I can remember the feeling of exhaustion. And of feeling that harmony was a fleeting emotion. I think there were circumstances that created part of our terrible two. You, driving to Arkansas every weekend from November-January; me, working long hours February-April; us both having full-time jobs for the first time. I also see in retrospect that we sacrificed one another. Me to "do ministry" and you to "make your new business happen". I look back and wonder why we ever would have chosen something or someone over the person who loves us best and makes the hard times one giggle away from being OK.
At some point during the home buying process, the shift began. We were somehow returning to one another. So for that and so many other reasons, I am thankful for our house. I'm thankful for the porch where we sit and talk without distraction. I'm thankful for the longing we each have to be ONE instead of the two we can find ourselves being. I am thankful for year two to be behind us, but also thankful that it had its place in our marriage.
I love you for sticking it out with me, for confessing when our love falls short, for sending me a "have a good day text" every day of our 2 years. I love you for reminding me what passion looks and feels like. I love you for driving on Broadway to get to our house everyday. I love you because you make me laugh even when I don't want to. I love you because I never have to doubt that behind the political battles, the differing sports teams, the opposing personalities, you are with me. I love learning how to share this life with you.
I love you, Nick.
Kels
Tuesday, July 16, 2013
1 year, 1 day
Dear Nick,
We say it often - as we hang up the phone, as we fall asleep. We use it describe our go-to Pandora station, Boyz II Men.We believe it shows itself every day in our dog Lady. We watch Ross and Rachel struggle with it.
But this is what the word has come to mean for me...
not burning the 17 hats you bought this year, seeing Fast and Furious 6 at 10:30 in the morning, standing strong together against the Clash of Clans takeover, same side sitting exclusively at the Melting Pot, long walks down Sutherland Avenue, becoming (gulp) a Duck Dynasty fan, waking up to find breakfast in bed, jumping around in a circle with our arms around one another, hearing you tell people about how we met, mustache man :{) ,patiently listening and learning about wildlife, discussing Lady's secret life as the Redbox operator, explaining being introverted on the way to St. Louis, potentially being the most incompatible tv watchers to ever exist, jerk chicken and Pina Colada's in Jamaica, buying our first (and maybe last) real Christmas tree, your goofy smile that you use to try and get out of whatever you did to piss me off, legitimately hating you for 2 nights out of the year when the Battle of Tobacco Road commences, knowing that if I ask you a question that you're going to try and answer it as simply as possible with as few words as possible....and not letting you get away with it, you always getting Cherry Coke to split at the movie theater even though you HATE cherry coke, being so impressed by how you handle yourself around high school girls,
Nicholas Anthony Sherrod, I am in love with you. Thanks for loving me back.
We say it often - as we hang up the phone, as we fall asleep. We use it describe our go-to Pandora station, Boyz II Men.We believe it shows itself every day in our dog Lady. We watch Ross and Rachel struggle with it.
But this is what the word has come to mean for me...
not burning the 17 hats you bought this year, seeing Fast and Furious 6 at 10:30 in the morning, standing strong together against the Clash of Clans takeover, same side sitting exclusively at the Melting Pot, long walks down Sutherland Avenue, becoming (gulp) a Duck Dynasty fan, waking up to find breakfast in bed, jumping around in a circle with our arms around one another, hearing you tell people about how we met, mustache man :{) ,
Nicholas Anthony Sherrod, I am in love with you. Thanks for loving me back.
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
Friday, July 13, 2012
I can believe it
If I had a nickle for everytime someone-even over this past week- has said, "I can't believe you're getting married", I might have enough money to pay my parents back for this weeding. When I hear that phrase, part of me is hesitant to agree. And here's why:
On one hand, if you had asked me 5 years ago if I would be getting married at 21(I'll turn 22 on July 25th), and to someone who went to Jefferson County High School, I would have told you that you had the wrong gal. I had big plans to move away and never turn back. I hated Jefferson County. For what I felt like as mistreatment, politics that I didn't want a part of, and for the hardship of hating small talk and living in a place that ate small talk for breakfast. I was independent. I was strong. I was enough, I would like to have thought. And yet, there lies the beauty of Nick and his love for me and the love I have for him. He is everything that I wanted and needed, but I had no idea. I hesitantly fell fast for Nick. It was a battle of pure attraction and a desire to stick to my plan. I kept feeling like he would hold me back, and yet, Nick has pushed me forward. I have had to learn sacrifice in a way that doesn't make sense, especially to a selfish, over-confident, manipulating brat of an 18,19 year old. I raised a puppy with him, while we lived in separate towns. I celebrated with him and for him. I needed him to slow me down. I needed him to lean on when my freshman year of college slapped me in the face and discouraged me. I still have emotional bruises from that year. I learned so much about myself, but it was brutal. And I hated it. Felt lonely. Felt not-enough. My mask started to smudge, it started to fade, and eventually, my mask of confidence, anger, sarcasm wiped itself from my face. And Nick loved me through all of that gross process. He learned to love someone that was different. He traveled with me as I met God and met God's love for me and met the fulfilling feeling of having Christ live inside me. And so, here I am. Saying, I can believe it. Without a single doubt in my heart or my mind. I believe Nick was absolutely created for me. And Nick has always felt it, if not known it. Sometimes, I am in awe of his literal "love at first sight" moment. I get to be thankful for Nick and his love. And I hope that I never forget how blessed with are to have found one another and at such a young age. I have traveled so far with this man, and yet, we will travel so many other places.
The feeling I am having while I think about Nick is joy. And thanksgiving. And so, I hope you see that at the wedding. I hope you participate with joy and with thanksgiving.
On one hand, if you had asked me 5 years ago if I would be getting married at 21(I'll turn 22 on July 25th), and to someone who went to Jefferson County High School, I would have told you that you had the wrong gal. I had big plans to move away and never turn back. I hated Jefferson County. For what I felt like as mistreatment, politics that I didn't want a part of, and for the hardship of hating small talk and living in a place that ate small talk for breakfast. I was independent. I was strong. I was enough, I would like to have thought. And yet, there lies the beauty of Nick and his love for me and the love I have for him. He is everything that I wanted and needed, but I had no idea. I hesitantly fell fast for Nick. It was a battle of pure attraction and a desire to stick to my plan. I kept feeling like he would hold me back, and yet, Nick has pushed me forward. I have had to learn sacrifice in a way that doesn't make sense, especially to a selfish, over-confident, manipulating brat of an 18,19 year old. I raised a puppy with him, while we lived in separate towns. I celebrated with him and for him. I needed him to slow me down. I needed him to lean on when my freshman year of college slapped me in the face and discouraged me. I still have emotional bruises from that year. I learned so much about myself, but it was brutal. And I hated it. Felt lonely. Felt not-enough. My mask started to smudge, it started to fade, and eventually, my mask of confidence, anger, sarcasm wiped itself from my face. And Nick loved me through all of that gross process. He learned to love someone that was different. He traveled with me as I met God and met God's love for me and met the fulfilling feeling of having Christ live inside me. And so, here I am. Saying, I can believe it. Without a single doubt in my heart or my mind. I believe Nick was absolutely created for me. And Nick has always felt it, if not known it. Sometimes, I am in awe of his literal "love at first sight" moment. I get to be thankful for Nick and his love. And I hope that I never forget how blessed with are to have found one another and at such a young age. I have traveled so far with this man, and yet, we will travel so many other places.
The feeling I am having while I think about Nick is joy. And thanksgiving. And so, I hope you see that at the wedding. I hope you participate with joy and with thanksgiving.
Tony and Dee-Dee's Sunday School Class Shower
That title is so long. It was one of those that mom and I practically mumbled when we were referring to it.
This shower was much more low-key. I had 2 good smaller showers to kinda of ease me in and out of wedding showers, which was nice. I still managed to have alot to carry out to my car afterwards, which is always a plus! :) Even though after every shower, it never failed that Nick would ask me 2 questions:
1. Where are we going to put THAT?
2. Do we really need THAT?
I would always say:
1. I'll find a place for it.
2. Of course!
I have to give a big shout-out to Makenzie Doane, Nick's cousin, for keeping up with what gifts I got and from whom. I know she did not show up to the shower expecting to have to work, and I really appreciated her sitting there with me.
This shower was a drop-in as well. I think I like these the best. You get more one-on-one time with people as they come and go as they need to. It's just a little more casual, and I am not one for formality, as you will see at the wedding! :)
Dee-Dee did something extra-Dee-Dee like for my gift at this shower. Since Nick and I have been engaged for over a year, she had bought small decorations for a bunch of holidays/seasons: 4th of July/Christmas/Harvest/Valentine's Day/St. Patrick's Day. It was really fun to open each package and see what was inside for that holiday.
This is my last shower post. I hopefully will add some pictures later, but by that time, noone will be reading this blog except me and my mom, who keeps re-reading old posts. Ah, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
This shower was much more low-key. I had 2 good smaller showers to kinda of ease me in and out of wedding showers, which was nice. I still managed to have alot to carry out to my car afterwards, which is always a plus! :) Even though after every shower, it never failed that Nick would ask me 2 questions:
1. Where are we going to put THAT?
2. Do we really need THAT?
I would always say:
1. I'll find a place for it.
2. Of course!
I have to give a big shout-out to Makenzie Doane, Nick's cousin, for keeping up with what gifts I got and from whom. I know she did not show up to the shower expecting to have to work, and I really appreciated her sitting there with me.
This shower was a drop-in as well. I think I like these the best. You get more one-on-one time with people as they come and go as they need to. It's just a little more casual, and I am not one for formality, as you will see at the wedding! :)
Dee-Dee did something extra-Dee-Dee like for my gift at this shower. Since Nick and I have been engaged for over a year, she had bought small decorations for a bunch of holidays/seasons: 4th of July/Christmas/Harvest/Valentine's Day/St. Patrick's Day. It was really fun to open each package and see what was inside for that holiday.
This is my last shower post. I hopefully will add some pictures later, but by that time, noone will be reading this blog except me and my mom, who keeps re-reading old posts. Ah, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
4:21 am
I had a swim coach tell me once that your energy level is based on sleep you got the night before the night before the big day-or big race, in his case. I am just now laying in bed, which if my coach is right, means Saturday is going to have to come from pure adrenaline. I'm not too worried!
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